FD3 - The Simple Truth

5 April 2010

FD3

The Simple Truth

Today we embark upon a journey. A journey which will bring us up, throw us down, and involve many sharp turns. Most of us have already begun to think about tomorrow with hope, wonder, joy, and maybe a little hesitation. Life is an adventure and it begins here. We will be challenged in ways we never imagined. Our parents won’t always be there, and we’re frankly reminded that we must now truly begin to depend on “me.” Life will be a voyage, whose fate will be determined by our individual actions. When the going gets tough, we will be tempted to take the easy route and forget whom we really are. I challenge you, Kapiolani Community College Class of 2010 to this – no matter what happens, or how hard things get, don’t forget to be honest. Honest to each other and ourselves. [THESIS] The key to leading a truly happy, successful and carefree life is being honest. [THESIS]

Life is filled with relationships. We have already begun to foster many that will take us through out lives, and there are those, which are fleeting. One of the fundamental building blocks to any relationship is trust. Generally we like to begin our relationships with trust, but maintaining such idealism tends to be somewhat tedious. I once found myself between two best friends who were very close, and had been friends for years.

At one point in time, one of the friends lied to other about something rather mindless – I believe it has something to do with lunch plans. Several months, a dented car, and a bloody fist later, I found out that one was doing drugs and sleeping with a mutual friend behind the other’s back. Now I don’t anticipate that every lie will transcend into something as drastic as that, however I would like to emphasize that lying is the first bathroom break while you’re drinking. Once you start, it’s just that much easier to keep going.

On the other hand, if these two friends hadn’t lied and kept the trust going between them, they may have experienced a few moments of anger and frustration throughout their relationship, but they would still have each other and a friendship that just may have lasted a lifetime.

Based on personal experience (and research), it seems that many of us choose to lie when its convenient, or if the possibility of getting caught is slim. Professor Miriam Schulman at Santa Clara University explains the rationale behind this decision making process, “Most of us, I suspect, are utilitarians on the subject of truthfulness, deciding whether to lie based on the possible consequences: Trivial fibs that hurt no one are acceptable; whoppers that injure others are not.” I’m sure all of you understand how much truth there is to this.

I believe this is where most of us begin. We think, “Hey, if I tell my instructor my computer was broken, I’ll be able to go out tonight and make up my homework later.” Now, with experience, we all know that that single lie, will almost definitely lead to a second lie, as well as a third, fourth, and so on. This particular sequence is typical because once you make one lie it’s that much easier to rationalize another.

Recent history will show us that the consequences of a “white lie” weren’t always as simple as fleeting guilt. In “A Brief History of Lying” the BBC reported, “In English medieval courts truth was tested by ordeals of fire and water, on the basis a truthful person would be protected by God. Someone suspected of lying would have to carry a red-hot iron bar for nine paces. Alternatively he could opt to walk across nine red-hot ploughshares. Either way, if the suspect was burned then this was proof that he was lying and so could be promptly hung.” If such consequences were so severe today, I am almost 100% sure that the world would be a much better place.

Quite often we find that we make minute lies and expect the consequences to be nominal, if any, but one thing we usually forget is the lie itself. When building a relationship entrenched with lies, or even one sparsely covered in white lies, it becomes almost impossible to have a sustainable relationship without one lie or another surfacing. I have too many times told a white lie here or there and in a later conversation I have stumbled upon my very words. However, along those lines, one may more easily justify lying and extensive cover-ups for the sake of “the greater good.”

Many of us are often caught in situations where more immediate incentive is directed toward lying rather than telling the truth particularly when the lie may benefit a large group of people. Classmate January DeMello once shared, “Some people want to win at any cost and they will do whatever it takes to win…” Although, in the moment, the victory may be touching, the true feeling of success is therein unattainable. Hard work is something that can only be done, not imagined. The pressure of winning for a group is quite tempting, but is the burden of knowing that we didn’t win on our own merit truly worth the sacrifice?

For some people it may even be intuitive to lie rather than to tell the truth. I’ve met many people who lie about mindless things that wouldn’t really matter one way or another. These people have it worst, because they often are caught in webs of lies and deceit. Although these friends often have the best intentions in mind, we all know a friend or two who could tone down the exaggerations, and made up midnight escapades. We, as friends, will appreciate these people for that reason, but imagine living that life – to look inward and not know fiction from reality. This is probably the worst that could happen.

Now, I stand before you today and would like to remind you of the challenges before us. Life is long – life is hard. Our character is built upon our actions. Every step in life is a choice. As we venture out into the world, we will begin to realize that honesty is truly the best policy. We may be tempted to take the easy way out once in a while, but as college graduates we know that after hard work and sacrifice comes reaping the rewards. Relationships are built from the ground up with trust. Although those we lie to may not always know of or find out our fibs, we bare the burden of constant worry and hesitation. By being honest in all arenas of our life, we can expect long-lasting friendships, trustworthy relationships, and trust that would is just a little better place because we did out part.

Works Cited


"A Brief History of Lying." BBC News. 06 January 2002. 28 Mar 2010. [http://www2.hawaii.edu/~jamess/lying4a.htm].

DeMello, January. "Discussion 1." Online Posting. 03 Mar 2010. Laulima Discussion. 29 Mar 2010. [https://laulima.hawaii.edu/portal/site/KAP.33517.201030/page/c2a89a6c-a93e-47dd-b419-873ef93bb50f].

Schulman, Miram. "Truth and Consequences." Santa Clara University. Sping 1999. 28 March 2010. [http://www.webcitation.org/5iXHGiD2a].

Log of Completed Activities:
L-Mar. 9t- Intro to Paper #3. Read the Guidelines for Paper #3. (Confirmation reply required.)
X-Mar. 15M- Complete readings for paper #3. (Confirmation reply required.)
X-Mar. 18T- Laulima Discussion #1
X-Mar. 19F- Laulima Discussion #2
Mar 22-26: Spring Recess
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Apr 2F- Holiday: Good Friday
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